I am, lactose intolerant.
What??Nobody is perfect! Jerry Seinfeld** was lactose intolerant!
Noone likes to hear about other people’s ailments. Even I don’t. House owner auntie is that common specimen of womenfolk who loves to talk about every sneeze she ever produced. She is the local authority on who is a quack, and who is not. Holistic healing, you want? She knows the place. Homoeo? She knows the place. Ayurveda? Allopathy? She’s been there, done that, sire. Any disease auntie hasn’t heard of, is not worth having.
But this post is not about her. sorry, But I am too self involved to be blogging about someone else on my own blog, you know.
Lactose intolerancy is the reason why I can’t have a nice cup of steaming, milky creamy coffee. The little workers lining the stomach walls are so angry at the molecules of lactose, you’d think lactose molecules slept with their wives. The animosity is ..(after spending a good 5 mins on what coming up with what animosity was, i gave up). There is animosity.
The olfactory lining is happy with creamy coffee.
It is almost shameless*** the way the taste buds flirt with the c.c.
the throat lining is on first name basis with c c.
Then why is that my stomach hates these creamy stuff??
Apparently they can’t digest lactose molecules.
I wish they lacked the enzymes to digest..say, Broccoli. or Brinjal. Why am I intolerant to the one thing I am happy to tolerate??
See what all stuff I am allergic to-?
Paneer butter masala. Even when I was half unconscious from all the vomiting, I could still remember how heavenly it tasted. Sigh.
All good things were given to my sis, and all the things she considered trash were given to me. Then later, like a very dear friend of mine (whom I disowned while I was writing this post) used to say, I proceeded to give an acknowledging nod to these ailments, and started having all those stuff I was intolerant to, while carrying a small replica of a medical shop with me wherever I went. The entire purpose of this post can be summed up like this.
1. I was desperate to get back into the blogosphere.
2. I was having a nice rich creamy tasty sugary coffee, giving the fever I now have, the finger.
3. I wanted to remind you all of dinner time.
So to sum up the summary I am having a nice rich hot coffee now.
Ambulance. Now. Call.
*I believe in giving catchy titles even if they have little to do with the post
**I don’t like seinfeld
***Shoutout to all those who got the reference.
Many things come to mind.
1. I like the template for some strange reason.
2. Maybe the lactose molecules did sleep with their wives. Hey, you never know! Maybe the wife started it, crazy bitch!
3. I make very excellent creamy coffee {I am CATBMECC certified [Certificate Acknowledging That Bearer Makes Excellent Creamy Coffee (Ohai BODMAS)]}
4. Wish I could do something about your allergies. Sniff. Stay healthy! #seriouslyemo
5. There’s too much red in that PBM, and it reminds me of raw tomatoes. I cannot tell you why I dont like raw tomatoes but I can assure you that they dont get much more than a curt nod or a slight frown from the olfactory, buccal, bronchiotic, alimentary and similar expressways.
You are back
ilike 
Tum nahin hote, toh yeh blog, mar jaate.
PS: SHOUTOUT!!!! I got the exact calvin face in my mind now
Lactose Intolerant?!! I do feel for you, poor child. Missing out on all those delicious dishes. I want some nice milk peda now. Wish I lived somewhere near where they supplied those in plenty.
The new template is so neat! I like.
May be I have the same problem with tea and coffee. Only difference is, neither my tongue nor my taste buds enjoy it. :p
Where were you all this while? As if I was around all the time! But seriously, a lot of regular bloggers are in hibernation nowadays…
a) you cant disown someone who is on his sick bed and b) my apporoach to dealing with this little predicament works wonders. you can thank me later. cheers. Oh and seinfeld,well,touchy issue that has been.sigh.